Photo of Mike Barden, author of the book "From Reactive to Resilient"

About Mike Barden

"Helping people find stability when everything changes."

When Identity Feels Lost

I know what it's like to lose your sense of self through circumstances beyond your control.

In 2008, I lost my decade-long ministry position and watched my 25-year marriage end. But the worst part wasn't just losing my job and relationship—it was completely losing my sense of who I was. When your identity is built around external roles and circumstances, losing those feels like losing everything.

Maybe you're there now. Your career ended. Your marriage fell apart. Your beliefs crumbled. You're facing a major life transition and wondering: Who am I without all of that? The panic feels overwhelming. The uncertainty is paralyzing.

I understand that feeling completely—and I know there's a way through it.

The Discovery That Changed Everything

My crisis led me to a crucial discovery: there's a difference between our temporary circumstances and our stable inner foundation of awareness.

Understanding this distinction changed everything. I stopped trying to rebuild a fixed identity and learned to work with what remains constant when everything else changes: the capacity for awareness itself.

From this insight, I developed the C.A.L.M. Method—a four-step framework that helps you maintain stability during major life transitions:

  • Connect with what's happening in and around you

  • Allow the things that are to be as they are

  • Let Go of your running commentary about the situation

  • Move Forward to take action informed by the present moment

This isn't abstract theory or a new belief system. It's a practical framework born from necessity, tested through my own crisis, and refined by helping others navigate divorce, job loss, midlife transitions, and belief changes.

From Reactive to Resilient

My book "From Reactive to Resilient: Practical Awareness for Major Life Changes" presents the complete C.A.L.M. Method, plus additional practices for building stability that doesn't depend on external circumstances staying the same.

It's designed specifically for people experiencing identity confusion during major life transitions—but even if you're not in crisis right now, the frameworks provide tools for navigating whatever challenges come next.

The book launches January 13, 2026.
Pre-order now on Amazon →

A Research-Backed Approach

I combine personal experience with evidence-based insights from psychology and neuroscience. The book includes 184 research endnotes and was professionally edited by Cathy Suter, who has edited books by mindfulness pioneer Jon Kabat-Zinn, ensuring the content meets established standards for awareness-based methodologies.

My background includes church ministry, professional music, and various roles that taught me how people navigate major transitions and identity confusion. I'm a Wisconsin-based writer focused on practical awareness frameworks for adults rebuilding identity after major life change.

What Makes This Different

Most self-help advice tells you to "find yourself" or "discover your purpose." But during identity crisis, that advice feels impossible. You can't think your way out of identity collapse.

The C.A.L.M. Method offers something different: practical steps for staying grounded when you don't know who you are—so you can rebuild from awareness, not panic. It doesn't require believing in anything new or engaging in complex spiritual practices. It's about working with what's already present: your capacity to notice, to allow, and to choose your response.

Start Here

→ Download a free chapter from the book
Learn the complete C.A.L.M. Method framework with practical exercises for staying grounded during major life transitions
Get the chapter →

→ TO GO DEEPER:
Read articles on identity crisis, life transitions, and practical awareness for in-depth exploration of these themes.

→ WANT THE COMPLETE FRAMEWORK?
Pre-order "From Reactive to Resilient" (releases January 13, 2026)

→ STAY CONNECTED:

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