About Mike Barden

“Helping people find stability when everything changes.”

When Identity Feels Lost

I know what it's like to lose your sense of self through circumstances beyond your control. In 2008, I lost my decade-long ministry position, watched my 25-year marriage come to an end, and found myself questioning everything I thought I knew about who I was.

The worst part wasn't just losing my job and relationship—it was completely losing my idea of who I am. When your identity is built around external roles and circumstances, losing those feels like losing everything.

That crisis led me to a crucial discovery: there's a difference between our temporary circumstances and personal traits, and our stable inner foundation of awareness. Coming to know this distinction changed everything.

From Personal Crisis to Systematic Understanding

My background includes church ministry, professional music, various office/day jobs, and now writing—roles that taught me how people navigate major transitions and identity confusion. Through my own experience and working with others facing similar challenges, I developed what became the C.A.L.M. Method, which is the centerpiece of the book, From Reactive to Resilient.

I promise you that this isn't abstract theory or a new belief system I’m trying to promote. It doesn’t require hard thinking or believing in anything. It's a practical framework born from necessity, tested through experience, and validated by helping others distinguish between inherited patterns and conscious choice during major life changes.

A Research-Backed Approach

My work on this project combines my own personal experience with evidence-based insights from psychology and neuroscience. The approach has been professionally edited by Cathy Suter, a seasoned editor in the mindfulness publishing space who has worked on books by modern mindfulness pioneer Jon Kabat-Zinn, ensuring the content meets established standards for awareness-based methodologies.

The goal isn't to provide quick fixes or surface-level advice. It's to offer systematic tools for building the kind of stability that doesn't depend on external circumstances staying the same.

From Reactive to Resilient

My book "From Reactive to Resilient: Practical Awareness for Major Life Changes" presents the complete C.A.L.M. Method framework, along with insights and practices that can be applied to self-knowledge, relationships, and other everyday life situations. It's designed specifically for people experiencing identity confusion during major life transitions—job loss, divorce, career changes, or other circumstances that disrupt your sense of self. But even if you’re not going through a transitional season right now, the information in the book is a great reference to reach for when you encounter stressful life situations.

The book launches January 13, 2026, with pre-orders beginning October 15, 2025.

Why This Work Matters

Major life changes are inevitable. Building your sense of self around temporary circumstances—job titles, relationship status, achievements, or even beliefs—creates vulnerability to identity confusion when those circumstances change or fall apart.

The work I share focuses on what remains constant when everything else changes: your capacity for awareness, your ability to respond consciously, and your freedom to choose how you engage with whatever life presents.

Connect and Continue

If you're experiencing major life changes and want practical tools for maintaining stability when circumstances shift, start with the free guide "Who You Are When Everything Changes."

Read the articles on this site for deeper exploration of these themes, or follow my content on social media for regular insights about navigating identity during transitions.

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